oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
