im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
