I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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