I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
