it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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