So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
