I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
