Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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