waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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