someone threw a dead crab at me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
