i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
