I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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