yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize