so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
