Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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