escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize