Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
