um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize