Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
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