Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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