You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
