just tell him i said nine months
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
