Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
