I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The air was thick with penises
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
