the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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