You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
