Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
