I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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