I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
