I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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