Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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