I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
