Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
