yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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