My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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