saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It was confusing and full of hummus
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
