how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
