Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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