And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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