Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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