Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So gin and wine won't be happening again
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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