Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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