dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
