you turned your livingroom into a bong?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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