he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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