Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
