The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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