he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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