I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
