Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
