the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
vagina is talking i cant
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
