I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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