Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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