just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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