I hate your face
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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