we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
