nut hugger
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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