i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Panties = found
Randomize
