fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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