I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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