Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I need water and some morals
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
