I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she was so not down for the gang bang
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
