chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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