Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
