fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
jump out the window naked night went bad
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