ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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