I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
