Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This girl is more easily done than said...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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