She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
