I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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