Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
