alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
