My first STD was from a foam party
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
