sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
