bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
