Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
