So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
