She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
