i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize