addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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