Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
