There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
