I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Someone signed my nipple.
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