Nicole vs. Life
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
